Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Bi- Products

I wanted to share this with you all, I have not shared any of my Insight's on my Blog thus far. I am going to do so now, from now on.  I hope that you enjoy this post and the many after it.

Bi-Products

By definition:  The result after the fact.

   Everything is a Bi-Product, from the air we breathe to the earth we are buried in.  

If I was to punch you in the face, you may feel sad, angry, or even deserving.  These are all Bi-Products.

The same if i was to kiss you, you may feel love, happiness, or even disgust.  These too, are also Bi-Products.

The growth of the trees, and the air that we breath are necessary for us to thrive, without food and water starvation and dehydration.

   So what does this all mean?  All of these things are fact.  This is also true in our daily living.  With our peers, husbands and wives, also our children.

   Parents are a very big part of the Bi-Product process.  this includes our actions, and behaviours that our children watch and copy.   

   If you yourself are vulgar, your children may also develop a nasty vocabulary. If you are violent, this may also be passed onto your kids.

   We have to go back in our lives, to assess ourselves in all aspects.  As it may pertain to said relationships with the people in our lives.  

   Are we creating an understanding loving environment. or a hostile one?

   After taking such an inventory, we can ask ourselves, what could be better?  Or on a more positive note what is working well?

For Example:  Do your kids come to you for advice on issues, or could they care less or nothing at all what what your opinions are?

   As a parent myself, I have fallen short in many important areas.  but as I learn and grow, I have come to an understanding that I will always be a work in progress.  I would not have it any other way, if I ever stopped learning and growing I will become stuck again.

   In the past, I have learned that my own actions create the environment I live in.

   Now, when I talk to my children, they are more apt to share with me about their day.  Or confide in me what is on their minds.  I am very grateful for those special moments when I hear them say,"I love you Daddy".   

   I have been a parent since 1995, I also do not know if I will ever be the model parent.  Not knowing if I will ever be able to do enough to change some of my stubborn ways.  I am getting older every day, all that I do know is that if I keep learning and growing as a person.  I will keep moving forward, and the progress will continue.

   I have told my Father in the past, that it takes a man to be a Dad, that any fool can be a sperm donor.    
After making many, many poor decisions as a parent myself.  I know now, that as long as I stay on the path I am currently on, nothing in this crazy world in unfixable.  

   In my current situation, my Ex-Wife, moved herself and our 6 kids 6 hours away.  Starting a new life and relationship with a great guy that takes good care of her and the kids.  The three of us were good friends at one time.  He actually tried to hold my Ex and I together.  Till she could not take my crap any longer.  

   After the breakup, my actions created quite a toxic environment for the kids as a whole.  I am able to own that now.

   It was my own choice after the separation, from that moment on.  To either create positive, proactive choices when it come to the children, or negative destructive ones.  

   As human beings, learned behavior is ingrained into us from birth, these are the Bi-products I am speaking of.  We only know what we have heard, seen, or experienced in each of our individual lives. 

  In the past, I overlooked many opportunities to bond with my kids.   Now, I must look at it like this, that was the past!  There is no reason now when an opportunity arises, not to embrace every moment that I do get to do so.   Whether that is talking to them on the phone, or seeing them in person.  

   All that I can do for my readers, is to suggest what has worked for me so far.  I am not going to dictate to you, or compare my life to yours.  But, if you can relate to any of my own story, take what you want from it and leave the rest.  

   From now on, I only want to create positive Bi-Products.  My resolve is to continue to show all my kids that I do care deeply, letting them know that there feelings and thoughts are always valid.  

   


1 comment:

dusty katt said...

Wow. Sounds like you've really thought about this. Thank you for sharing it with us.